Wednesday, July 1, 2009

So Long, Farewell

I'm signing off. I've decided that my situation is too delicate right now for people to know who I am. I'll be around though, in fact I already am. That's right, I won't go down.

It's been a fun ride. Thanks to my new found friends for the love and support and thanks to everyone else to kept reading and gave me something to write about.

I'll miss you all.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

I Told You I Was Queen

I've been tagged by Snow White for this Queen award. Fitting isn't it? I've gotten a lot of backlash for this blog and I've been laying low recently. Call it Vodka Mom syndrome I guess. It's nice to know that some people are still keeping an eye on me to see what I'm up to.

Here's the rough part...the rules.
1. List 7 things that make me awe-summm!
2. Pass the award onto 7 bloggers that I love
3. Tag those bloggers to let them know they are now Queens too (and link back to the Queen who tagged you)

7 Things That Make Me Awe-Summm!

1. After everything that has gone this past year with this blog, I have still managed to keep them coming. If ya don't like it, don't read it!
2. Not only am a 21 year old female that can change a tire by HERSELF but I have also taught at least 3 males how to as well.
3. I do pretty good impersonations. Not celebrity impersonations, but impersonations of everyday people in my everyday life. (I have mastered the impersonation of 5 Kindergarteners).
4. I remember approximately 73% of my color guard choreography from high school 5 years ago.
5. I am very resourceful. My car radio broke last week and instead of driving around with no music, I broke out my mother's old boom box and planted it right in my front seat. Now I have a radio.
6. I can fit my ear inside of a snapple cap.
7. I can parallel park, change the radio station, and be on the phone at the same time. It sounds dangerous, but not when I do it. I'm that good.

That was actually really hard. I'm hoping that I'll think of about 10 more things that make me completely awesome once I post this.

My 7 Queens...

1. Vodka Mom @ I Need A Martini (as if she needs another one)
2. Ice Queen @ The Constant Chill ( those queen names)
3. Sarah K @ Randumb
4. Errant @ My Own Circus Show
5. Hit 40 @ Sane Without Drugs
6. Irish Chicken Soup @ Vitrifying Hearts
7. Lissa @ Whooo's That Girl?

Friday, June 19, 2009

We Don't Like You Either!

My sister and I made the decision to go to Pennsylvania colleges. Through our experience we've run into many people who like us, then find out we're from North Jersey and catch an attitude.

My sister just came back from a road trip with a friend from Deleware. This friend has parents from North Carolina. They found out my sister was from North Jersey and they strongly discouraged him from joining her on this road trip. After some arguing he was told, "Fine, go...but don't bring her around here."

Personally, I don't have an issue with people from other states until I find out that they hate me because of the Jersey thing. I mean really? WTF? What did we do to North Carolina? Are they jealous? Can someone help me clear this issue up?

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Tell All Your Friends

You win. I can't do this anymore. The anger and frustration is eating me alive and it's turning my heart. I don't know what you want from me. All I ask is peace. One last week of peace so that everything can be said and done. My spirit has been broken but not killed. There is more to life than this hatred that you have drawn out over these past months and I will not be consumed by it as you have. I hope you find peace in your bitterness.

I still have a few people on my side. I'm cutting my loses and moving on.

...tell all your friends

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Prop H8

One of my best friends sent me a link to the video that her company did about the gay marriage protest in LA yesterday. I'm posting it because a.) I'm incredibly proud that this Jersey girl went to school in Florida and then moved out to LA (you showed them Heather) and b.) I really believe in the message.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Now What?

So I finally graduated and as my peers head down the shore and get ready to start their careers I thought I would give everyone an update on what's going on with me.

- I still don't have a job.
- I don't have health insurance.
- All of my friends have gone home 3 weeks ago.
- I'm down to about $50 in my account and my rent isn't paid yet (shouldn't have written that...someone's going to pass that info onto the roommate...damn).
- My rabbit and I are sharing a bag of pretzels as our main form of nutrition. I consider this to be a great personality strength as I'm sure many people would have let the rabbit fend for himself by now.
- While my car is running on fumes and my check engine light is flashing, my friend in the passenger seat turns and says to me, "I think you could use some new windshield wipers". I'll add it to the list.

There's really no way for me to describe to you the limbo that I have found myself in this past week or so. The looming "now what?" is just hanging over my head...I just want to go home.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Can I Graduate?

Tomorrow afternoon I will officially become a Penn State alum. Let me just tell feels good. I'm ready to move on and be a real person. Exciting, right?? In case any of you were wondering...

No, I don't have a job for September.

No, I don't have a job for the summer.

No, I won't have insurance.

No, I don't know if I'm going to live at home for the first year or not.

Yes, I have loans.


Monday, May 11, 2009

Spin Cycle: Prom Night Uncensored

I'm picking up on this spin cycle thing from Sprite's Keeper. I saw Joanie's old prom pics and I absolutely had to post! The theme this week is prom which is wonderful for me because I went to a prom every year (I had lots of older friends and was so gorgeous that everyone just wanted to be seen with me).

Allow me to begin by stating that our prom was doomed before it even started. Two days before prom I went with Rome to get his tux and apparently he was fitted by a baboon because not a single piece of his tux fit him. In fact, each piece looked like it belonged to its own tux entirely. Then, the day before the prom our auditorium went up in smoke and several windows and vehicles fell victim to the flames. If those weren't signs then I'm not sure what one is. senior prom was in June 10, 2005 (I'm the blond bombshell in the back) and was held at the Mezzanine in Newark, New Jersey. It sounded like a really fancy place and the photos online were absolutely gorgeous. Unfortunately, the place was more like our prom was being held on the mezzanine level of an office building. You had to take the elevator up four floors to get to the bathroom.

Before we get to the prom everyone meets in the high school gym for pictures and bus assignments. Bayonne High School came up with the idea of putting the entire senior class on buses to the prom to avoid drunken limo rides. It makes a lot of sense looking back but that gym was a sauna! By the time we got on the buses several girls had melting hair.

Rome and I got into 2 major fights that night. The first one was because he started dancing with a girl I didn't like. I slapped him. It was a good one. Right across the face in the middle of the dining room. Someone got a picture of it. I would share it with you if I had a copy but apparently no one has it. I can't really remember what the second fight was about...I may have been a little hormonal that evening. Luckily he got over it.

Now that I think about it, everyone was fighting that night. My friend Trish was pissed at her boyfriend because he like his ex's prom the year before better, my friend Ann was trying to avoid her date and hook up with Jared who was there with Molly. Molly was a little upset about that. Our high school football star got pissed at his date, threw a chair across the room, and got kicked out. He went on to get a full ride to Penn State (they make me pay ::tear::) as a running back I believe. He ended up tearing his ACL and I haven't heard anything about him since.

John's prom date was a girl who had graduated the year before and ended up disappearing a short time after our graduation. He tried to get in contact with her to at least give her the prom picture but thought it would be awkward. "Hey...I know you want to drop off the face of the planet and never talk to anyone again but I have this picture of us and you look really cute!".

Junior Prom the year before was much less eventful. Here's a pic from that too.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

The Locks Are Always Redder On The Other Head??

I have an addiction. I have an addiction to dying my hair. I've had every hair color you could imagine. I've been blond, brunette, a red head, and I even had black hair at one point. Every time I need my driver's license I have to provide a second form of identification because my hair color never matches. I don't even know what my natural hair color is anymore.

Most of the time I dye it because I just get bored or see a movie with a fabulous shade of chestnut brown or champagne blond that I absolutely must have on my head. Sometimes it goes too far. Usually when this happens it's red.

All I wanted was my highlights redone...but apparently once you have a little red in your hair and more is too much. Right now my hair color looks something like this...
I've been told that I have trouble knowing when enough is enough. Now I have to think how I'm going to explain this to my colleagues. I really need to give this up...or at least the red.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Come and Get It!

I don't know if there is a magic aura about my apartment or if my friends are just absent minded but they keep leaving things at my house. I guess I'm not free of blame myself since by the time I find these homeless belongings I can't remember who they belong to.

Since the end of the semester is coming and move out time is almost upon us, I have decided to post these pictures in the hopes that someone will claim them. If no one claims them I'm selling them to the highest bidder. (email me if you see anything you like).

Men's hoodie. Excellent condition (no stink). Size L

Men's prescription glasses. Excellent condition. Found in Twin #1's makeup bag. (She swears she doesn't know a thing)

Men's Hollister Tshirt. Size M. Good condition. I'm pretty sure this one came from Jersey with me in August and I just never got around to bringing it back.

Women's sweatshirt. Excellent condition. Size S

Blue bath towel. Fair condition. This one has been around for approximately 6 months.

Female hoodie. Good condition. Size M

Black umbrella w/hook handle. Good condition. Better come get this one quick...Twin #1 is kind of attached.

JanSport book bag. Fair condition.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Love Notes

A message from twin #2 to twin #1...

The little things like this really make me miss my sister.

Friday, May 1, 2009

How Do You Do This Everyday?

Rome got a job substitute teaching in our hometown. Apparently, Pennsylvania is the only state that won't let just any John Doe off the street fill in for a teacher.

Today he was in an elementary school for the gym teacher. I got a text promptly at 3:05 that stated "I'm exhausted. I could never do this everyday."

...welcome to my life.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

I Did It Again

Yeah...I locked my keys in the car again. For the third time since January. They say the average person does this twice in his or her lifetime. That means I have not only done this enough for myself, but that someone will never lock their keys in the car because I have already done it twice for them as well.

I have saved someone the stress of standing out in the rain waiting for a tow truck.

I accept cash and checks with the thank you notes.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Operation Garden Lion

When I was a sophomore I had a really close knit group of friends. We would all hang out together constantly and on any given night there were no less than 9 people in one dorm room. It was the the first time in any of our lives that we were on our own and making our own decisions. Good or bad...they were our decisions.

My roommate was a pizza deliver boy on the weekends and it eventually got to the point that he knew the Sinking Spring/Shillington area better than the twins who had lived there their entire lives. He saw a lot of houses and outside one he found a replica of the Nittany Lion Shrine on someone's front lawn. It was love at first sight. He took advantage of every opportunity to deliver to that house and scope out this lion.

One Sunday night, he came back from work and decided that was the night. He and two others were going to steal the garden lion. They dressed in all black and planned to strike and 3 a.m. (I still have the picture of them and if we were still friends I would post it because it really is pretty funny).

As mapped out as the plan sounded it was doomed from the beginning. They had the stealing of the garden lion down but they had no idea what they were going to do with a 3 foot long garden statue. I guess they were just going to stick it in someone's dorm room. They came back shortly after leaving without a lion. Apparently no one took into consideration how heavy the thing would be. I heard phrases like "It was too much", "Who the hell carried that thing there in the first place?", and "It was at least 350lbs."

After that the lion was never mentioned again. He fell out of love as quickly as he had fallen in. I never had the chance to see the lion so I can neither confirm nor deny these alligations of the size and weight but I still laugh whenever I see the real lion shrine on campus.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009


Here we go with the college stories. The only problem is that since I've been reflecting on my college memories, I realize that they aren't as funny retrospect. Just a series of "you had to be there" stories that make you want to stab yourself in the ear.

Sorry to all my home friends who have heard these stories over and over again.

Here's one anyway...

I met my roommates on a school trip to Venice my sophomore year (the twins...not the evil roommate. I knew him before that but that's another entry entirely). Anywho...apparently the week we spent in Venice was right after they passed a smoking ban and you could no longer smoke indoors. No big deal, the law had already been in place in Jersey for about a year so I was used to it.

What they neglected to tell us about the smoking rule was that it applied to public property as well. While we were waiting for the train to Verona a few of us were outside catching a smoke break. The police caught us. Someone neglected to mention that you cannot smoke on the front steps of the train station either.

The polizia ambushed us demanding out passports. Thank God the roommate was carrying mine because I knew I didn't have it. I almost crapped my pants at the thought of being hauled off to an Italian jail. I hear Americans don't do so well overseas.

Later on the trip I had an opportunity to pay the roommate back for his good deed but didn't take advantage. The day before we left I was cleaning out my bag and throwing things away I didn't need. I found receits from our flights and I didn't think they were that important. I threw his away immediately. I was going to throw mine away but got nervous and decided to keep it just in case...

...those were our boarding passes for the flight home. No wonder we hate each other.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Yes, Officer! This Is My Car!

I remember reading somewhere the the average driver locks the keys in the car twice during his/her lifetime. Well, I would like to announce that I have so far done this three times in the four years that I have been driving. I always knew I was more than average, but this is proof!

The first time I did it was my freshman year in college. Rome was going to school in Philly at the time and I drove down in my Buick Lesabre from Reading to see him for the weekend. One of the security guards on his campus was going to help, but started giving me a hard time because I didn't have proof of ownership. I told him it was in the car, but apparently lots of eighteen year old girls try to steal 1994 Buick Lesabres at that campus. He just kept nodding as if he had heard the story before.

The other two times were both this year, both during the school day, and both when I had taken Nyquil the night before. Coincidence? Perhaps. I'm not really sure. All I know is that I'm going to have to think of a clever way to make that $56 back. Damn Locksmith.

In all fairness though, it could be worse. When I was 4 months old my mother locked me in the car while it was running. I guess the apple didn't fall far from the tree.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

We Did Ignite It, But We Tried To Fight It

The twins and I have become absolutely obsessed with "Dexter". If you haven't seen it, it's a show about a serial killer and it is sick, twisted, and brilliant! Anyway...we've become so infatuated with this show that we'll sit down and watch seasons of it for hours at a time. I really admire his organization and cleanliness. Something I lack.

So we're sitting watching Dexter and the Ice Truck Killer when Twin #2 says that she smells something burning and immediately accuses Twin #1 of leaving the oven on. She checks....oven's off.

Then Twin #1 wonders if the fourth roommate is burning upstairs. Since the fourth roommate has so many electronic devices plugged into a single outlet, it was a possibility. There have been sparks before and there could be sparks again.

Even at this point I still didn't smell anything and I was beginning to think that they were losing it.

Finally after 20 minutes, Twin #1 tells me to come sit next to her so that I can smell it. I move and I do. It smelled like plastic, but not as strong. It was the smell of cigarette filters burning. It was at that moment that I remembered my downfall...messiness. I opened the balcony door to find our ashtray that hasn't been emptied out in at least 2 months was on fire. We immediately dosed the sparks and got back to Dexter.

We could learn a thing or two from a serial killer...I bet serial killers empty out their ashtrays.

Friday, March 13, 2009

I Really Need to Keep Up With This Thing...

I've been away for a few days so most of you probably know this (mostly because I think most of you read Braja's blog), but her husband and driver were in a terrible accident.

Please keep them in your thoughts.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Pay it Forward...and I love Gifts!

I love presents so I promise to pass on the wonderful things!

here is the deal:
you want a present from me? leave me a comment. the first three people to comment will receive a gift from me sometime this year. when? what? you wont know!! its a surprise!! Im going to do my best to comply with the rules of "something handmade," but I cant promise that. life is crazy, you know!

here is the catch: in order for you to leave a comment on this post, first you have to repost this on your blog. that means that you are committing to giving three presents to people. got it? so post this on your blog, then comment to let me know.


Monday, February 23, 2009

Your Tour Ends Here

Dear Brett Michaels,

Are you kidding me? I heard on the radio today that your Rock of Love tour bus is coming to Montclair, NJ next month. Please don’t. New Jersey has a bad enough reputation as it is and we don’t need you confirming rumors that we’re trash.

Also, could you please stop with this “Rock of Love” thing? It’s old and I’m tired of you exploiting dumb aspiring porn stars. Instead of spending your time filming these women fighting over you, could you please drop by the nearest psychiatric ward and get them the help they need.

Really, Brett. Who do you think you are? Bon Jovi? You’re not. You never will be so let it go. When I hear advertisements for Bon Jovi on the radio, I hear at least 5 good songs played in the background. When I hear your radio advertisement I hear one. “Every rose has its thorn…” This includes you Brett. Your thorn poked me a long time ago and the wound is becoming infected.

You’ve been walking around for the past few years like you’re the cat’s meow. Well the cat is dying a slow painful death and letting the whole world know about it! Stop with the hair extensions and give the eye liner back to one of the crazy chicks on your love bus.


Someone with Class

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Daddy's Girl

I'm taking a huge risk right now. I'm not going to write anything funny about my evil roommate, my cheap landlord, or my crazy kindergartners. This is a full on venting, so if you don't feel like reading you can stop now and I won't be offended.

My parents are divorced and my mother was awarded full custody, meaning that my father was ordered to pay $150 a week for child support. My mother was so heartbroken after my father cheated on her and left us she didn't bother to ask for alimony. Just child support. At the time my mother didn't have a job, we didn't have a car, we didn't have a phone, my Nana was clothing us and my Grandpa was paying to keep food on the table. I had no idea at the time but we had almost nothing.

In the beginning my father was working and paying child support regularly. We saw him every weekend and things were going well. At some point over the past fourteen years (that's how long they've been divorced) my father lost his job and stopped paying child support. Please keep in mind that he is only ordered to pay a meager $150 a week for two children. He now owes my mother over $10,500. He has tried to emmancipate my sister and I several times with no success.

My mother has worked 50-60 hours a week since the divorce so that my sister and I could have a nice life and go on school trips, vacations, movies, and college. She gets court dates about every 6 months to try and get her money. She goes to court, they demand my father to come up with about $1000 by that Friday at 4 pm, and if he doesn't pay they issue an arrest warrant. Most of the time he doesn't, they come arrest him, and his $1000 bail miraculously appears within the hour. This was a common occurance until about a year ago.

Last year my father decided to try to apply for permanent disability (as he has several times in the past). While he applies for permanent disability he gets welfare from the state of New Jersey. Welfare does not offer any support for my mother and the only support if offers my sister and I is coverage through Medicaid which we don't need because the only thing my mother does have is good health insurance (Thank God). He gets $250 a month and $150 in food stamps and doesn't have a damn thing to spend it on since he doesn't drive and lives with his mother.

So he calls my mother this morning and wants to play "Let's Make a Deal". His deal was to pay her $5,000 of the $10,500 that he owes her and allow him to stop paying for my sister in May when he stops paying for me. Great deal right? Yeah...

Monday, February 16, 2009

Why Not?

Snow White gave me some "homework". (I love how all the blogging teachers stand out like sore thumbs.) Anyway, I've decided to follow suit. I'm supposed to tag a certain amount of people to do it after me but the last time I did that no one reposted and I got kind of angry. If you like it, take it.

This is how it goes...
Step 1
: respond and rework -- answer the questions on your own blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your own invention, add one more question of your own.

Step 2: tag - eight other un-tagged people

1) What are you wearing right now? I'm still in my teacher clothes...khakis and a black shirt (slightly boring)

2) What is your biggest fear? My biggest fear right now is that I'm not going to get any type of a job next year. I'm also worried that Penn State is going to screw something up and not let me graduate. Hopefully in speaking these fears out loud they will not come true.

3) Do you nap a lot? I used to. I used to take a 2 hour nap everyday for the first three years of college. I guess that's not really a nap at all but rather a second sleep and probably the reason I gained so much weight since high school. This year I've gotten out of that habit and I only take naps on weekends. I'm losing weight but I am not as happy.

4) Who is the last person you hugged? I think my last hug was yesterday when I hugged Rome goodbye. That makes me sad that I haven't had a hug all day. I'll have to hug the next twin I see.

5) What websites to you visit when you go online? Penn State, Stalkbook, Blogger...the usual

6) What was the last item you bought? I bought McDonald's today. I purchased chicken selects because I thought they would be a healthy choice. Several friends have told me since that they are one of the worst things on the entire McDonald's menu and then I got sad that I didn't just order a quarter pounder.

7) You are on the Oregon Trail, how are things going? I haven't been on the trail a month and I'm already the only one left alive in my party. Did I mention that I'm a doctor? Yeah...

8) If you woke up tomorrow and were a boy, what is the first thing you would do and why? Hit snooze...then go pee standing up.

9) Has a celebrity's hair cut ever influenced your own hairstyle? Not particularly that I can think of.

10) What is your most embarrassing moment? I walked up to a woman one time and look at her baby. I stood there staring at the baby and commented on how beautiful her blue eyes were....several seconds later I realized the woman was breast feeding.

11) What was the last movie you watched? I couldn't even tell you. I think it was "The Land Before Time" to be completely honest.

12) If you had a whole day to yourself with no work, commitments, or interruptions what would you do? Absolutely nothing. I might take a nap.


Now that I've gotten that out of the way, I'm going to pass on that award that I never shared. I apologize because I legitimately forgot about it. I'm passing it on to the Chatty Barista, Lorraine, and Joanie. There it is folks. Have fun!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Sisterly Love

I live with twin sisters. They're identical and they both have red hair and freckles. They're actually kind of cute and absolutely hilarious when they start fighting. Here's a play by play of their most recent argument over their dinner.

Twin 1: I only got 2 shrimp.
Twin 2: I didn't count how much shrimp was on each plate.
Twin 1: Yeah, but you made sure you got all the shrimp.
Twin 2: What the hell? Did you want me to stand there and count the frigging shrimp?

The argument ended when Twin 1 was full and didn't finish her food.

Twin 1: I'm full.
Twin 2: I made that for you and you're not gonna finish it?
Twin 1: Here you finish it.
Twin 2: Stop bitching you got more than 2 shrimp!
Twin 1: Oh yea I guess I did.
Twin 2: Oh yea I guess you're a bitch.

Ahh...I miss my sister.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Just Give Me My Meds!!!

I hate going to the nurse or any type of doctor while at school. The problem is that they don't know me, and therefore assume that I am not intelligent enough to know my left from my right. For example, every time I go to the doctor up here they ask me if I'm pregnant. I understand that this is a typical question that is asked at many doctor's offices everywhere. However, most other doctor's offices accept the simple answer or "no". Not the campus health center. My "no" is quickly followed by a series of other questions.

Dr. Dumbass: Are you pregnant?
Me: No
Dr. Dumbass: Is there anyway you could be pregnant?
Me: No
Dr. Dumbass: Are you sure?
Me: Yes.
Dr. Dumbass: Yes you could be pregnant or yes you're sure?

How the hell did you get through med school???? I'm not sure if they're trying to tell me I'm a little chubby or if they really think I'm that dense. No, I'm not pregnant. Yes, you're a moron.

Then you get the smoking questions. Do you smoke? How many cigarettes a day do you smoke? Of course I don't smoke! You want to know why? I don't smoke because people who smoke spend an extra 20 minutes with the doctor. You get a speech about how bad smoking is for you and then sit around for 5 or 10 minutes while someone goes to try and find those pamphlets for the quit hotline. Thanks, you're efforts in handing me this packet is really going to get me to call this number so I can waste more time holding while I wait for someone to give me the same speech you just did.

As if this excitement weren't enough, you get to go to the pharmacy. The problem with the campus pharmacy is that it kind of works like you're ordering lunch meat from the supermarket. First of all, if you have a prescription it's on a computer printout and has a little scribble on it that the Pregnancy Obsessed Moron thinks is a signature. Then you take a number and wait to be called to place your order. Recently, a friend of mine went to the campus health services and they told her she might have a kidney stone so printed her out a sheet for some Vicadin. Awesome idea! Next time someone's looking for some pain killers tell them to head over to the campus health services and just tell them they're back hurts. It really amazes me how easy it is to get a hold of controlled substances from your university and distribute them at your leisure.

Keeping this in mind, I had a prescription for an inhaler (despite avoiding the smoking talk). I take it downstairs to the campus pharmacy, take my number, and sit. They call the number 37 five times before they realize no one's coming and finally call my 38. By the time I get up there, Mr. 37 is right on my heels and getting all huffy because I "cut" him (I think he might belong in my kindergarten class). I sit back down and wait some more and finally get called for real. I go up and hand in my shopping list. Forty minutes. Ms. Vicadin can walk in and walk out but I have to wait another 40 minutes to get a frigging inhaler. These people are the sick ones.

Now where's my lighter? I need to go downstairs and NOT smoke.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Deep State of Denial

I've had many friends over the years who have made some pretty bad "nighttime" decisions. You know those? The times when you're out and think a guy is just the bee's knees only to wake up the in the morning and scream for help.

Fortunately, I have never fallen victim to this what-the-hell-was-I-thinking experience (luckily Rome is a looker). However, the same cannot be said for these poor ladies. Of course it usually works out that this type of guy who makes you cringe with embarrassment is usually the one who is bursting with excitement and feels the need to tell the entire world the intimate details of your evening.

My friends ask me, "What do I do? Everyone knows!" To me the answer is simple...


The truth of the matter is, ladies, that guys lie. They lie so often in fact that this is the perfect time for you to lie because chances are that most people are going to take your side. Guys have been making up lies about sleeping with girls since the beginning of time, and if they don't lie they often exaggerate enough that it can certainly be considered a lie.

Feeling guilt about denying it? Don't. If the situation were flipped, they wouldn't think twice about denying you so don't worry about it! Keep your head held high and plead the fifth, my friend. I won't tell a soul.

Monday, February 9, 2009

I Pulled a Pheobe Cates...and Failed

I was strolling out of the Penn State College of Education office when I have a funny feeling in my bra. Just then the front of it just breaks and comes off. Do you remember the scene from "Fast Time at Ridgemont High" when Pheobe Cates is coming out of the pool? It was kind of like that...except not the least bit attractive. It was probably quite disturbing actually. Crazy Charm talks about headlights in class but this was certainly more embarrassing.

Just so happens I was on my way to get a physical and had no bra. Bras don't snap on Sunday afternoons when you're taking a refreshing nap on the couch. They snap when you're already late for school and about to get a physical.

In case anyone was really worried about me, the nurse in the office did offer up some safety pins until I was able to get home and change. Unfortunately, safety pins don't like to stay attached too often. Ouch!

Friday, February 6, 2009

Rental Rut

Dear Briarwood Apartments, (That's right! I'm exposing you!)

Thank you so much for turning off my water first thing on a Friday morning. I'm especially glad that the first thing I did this morning was flush the toilet. I love flushing the toilet when the water is off because I don't even like when my toilet has water in it. It's a waste anyway.

Thank you also for giving me the opportunity to ask my roommate if he knew the water was being turned off. When I have to speak to my roommate it makes me absolutely shutter with pure joy. He is so kind and considerate that he actually acknowledged that I spoke to him and answered my question with a whole 3 words! "I don't know". I'm beaming.

I did not think a rental office could beat the disfunction I have experienced with The Apartment Store (I'm exposing you guys, too!) but alas, you are coming dangerously close.

Keep doing what you're doing Briarwood!

The student teacher who brushes her teeth in school

My First Time

I got my first award from Crazy Charm and I'm flattered! (I knew I always like her!) I'm not sure who I'm going to pass it along to yet so I'm going to hold off on that for now.

What's it for? "This award acknowledges the values that every Blogger displays in their effort to transmit cultural, ethical, literary, and personal values with each message they write. Awards like this have been created with the intention of promoting community among Bloggers. It's a way to show appreciation and gratitude for work that adds value to the Web."

Thanks to everyone who reads. It makes me feel a little less crazy. =)

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Roommate of the Year

Dear Ginger,

Thank you for being my roommate. I sincerely apologize for when your twin forgot her ID and you had to meet us at the Cell Block with it. I'm sorry that your sister texted me from the Kiddie section that we needed to leave to catch the bus and I didn't get the text until almost 15 minutes later. I'm sorry I had to track her down in the kiddie section among all the Freshman making out and practically having sex on the dance floor. I'm sorry your twin was standing next to the speaker and I couldn't hear a damn word she was saying.

I'm sorry we had to track down her coat because it was not in the coat rack by the kiddie section, but rather the coat rack in the over 21 section. I'm sorry I had to throw a bitch fit in order to convince the chick at the coat check that I did know the owner of the coat and was not trying to steal it.

I'm sorry that by the time we actually left the bus had come almost 20 minutes earlier.

I thank you for leaving your warm bed, with wet head to drive Henry downtown to pick us up. Remind me to take you to Red Lobster (or Olive Garden at the very least!) so that I can show my appreciation for your continued dedication to our friendship.

Your Sexy Roommate

P.S. Please forgive us =)

Monday, February 2, 2009

The 100K

My car hit 100,000 miles today. I was pulling into Starbucks this morning and I watched all the numbers turn at once. I was pretty excited about it so I thought I would share my good news with the blog world.

Henry the Hyundai Accent is still doing quite well. We're hoping for 100K more! (Yeah, right).

This is what a 2002 Hyundai Accent looks like in case you were wondering. Henry is much hotter than this one however.

Fun Fact: He's royal blue...which is why I named him after King Henry VIII.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Locks of Love

I spent the weekend in Reading with a friend and had an absolutely AMAZING time. I'm completely exhausted but I wanted to share that I made a big change in my life today...

I cut my hair.
My hair just made the 10 inch cut off for Locks of Love. It's a non profit organization that takes hair and turns them into wigs for kids who are losing or have lost their hair (from chemo or any other medical illness. So if you're thinking about cutting your hair and aren't sure this is a great reason to just do it.

Here's how in case you're interested.

There's my plug. I'm sure I'll have something interesting to share later in the week.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Highway to Hell

I took a trip to see my sister in Philadelphia this weekend. We had a great time Friday night and then I continued on my journey home to see Rome and others. As I was driving to Philadelphia from State College on 76 (aka the Pennsylvania Turnpike). I realized that I was tired of people picking on the New Jersey Turnpike. What's so special about the Pennsylvania TP that makes it any better than the NJTP, huh?

I'm determined to find out.

So the first negative of the PATP was the ticket. I found it difficult to read and almost smashed into a divider trying to see how much it would cost me to get to Valley Forge ($5 and some change). Not to worry! I did not almost smash into anything as I was taking this picture! =)
I know it's hard to read but the yellow represents the exit I got on. I found this difficult to understand because I would assume that since it is in the lower right corner that I got on at the last exit. I didn't. So I had to back track and search this entire ticket to find Valley Forge. Why was I finding Valley Forge if I was going to Philadelphia? Shouldn't I just get off at the Philadelphia exit? Apparently not. Who would know this?

So I'm driving the 79 miles to get to Valley Forge and I smell this horrendous smell. Everyone complains about the smell of the NJTP, but I've been driving that for years and never smelled anything like this before. Could it be that I walked through a dog park on the way out of my townhouse to my car? No. It was fertilizer. January fertilizer? I'm not a farmer so I'm not sure of the rules but I never knew that fertilizer could smell so ripe in mid winter.

I felt better about the fertilizer when I saw this. My Berks branch campus exit. I wanted to go but resisted the urge.
So after hitting traffic I finally get to Philly. Drexel's campus is on the streets of Philadelphia by the way. When you're at Penn State, you know when you're on campus. It looks like the stock college campus. Lawns, buildings, little walkways with benches. All very typical. My sister needed to tell me that I was on campus because Drexel looks like it was just dropped in west Philly. I wish I had a better picture but this will have to do.
You'll never find a four lane street going through the middle of University Park. Anyway...we had a good time and took lots of pictures. Why? Because we're really cute girls.
So then I continued my travels to the New Jersey Turnpike. I love driving in when you first see the sign "New Jersey Welcomes You". It's always nice when you're away from home all the time to come back and be welcomed. I really feel that the state of NJ misses me while I'm gone.

Onto the Jersey TP. The ticket is in order. What a concept! The exit you get on says No U-Turn and you know if you're going to higher exit it's north and a lower exit is south.I enjoy driving on the NJTP over the PATP for serveral reasons. The first reason is that the NJTP is 3 or more lanes wide while the PA version is only 2. NJ doesn't allow trucks in the left lane so they can't slow me down. Another reason is that everyone drives faster on the NJTP and that makes me happy. Also, I've never smelled any rotten animal droppings in NJ. Everyone says it smells but I don't get it (or maybe I'm used to it...who knows?) I'm guessing that this is the part everyone thinks stinks.
Finally the reason I prefer the town has it's own exit.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Red Flagged

It is not a good thing when you walk into the bank and everyone knows who you are. My bank account was over drawn for a long time (I would rather not say how long) and I just got my rebate money put into my account recently. My loans went through when the semester started two weeks ago but Penn State likes to take their sweet time and hold onto my money for as long as possible. They like to see how long I can survive on pretzels and pasta (plain money for sauce).

So I thought my money went in a day before it actually did and I tried to check my balance at an ATM but I just got my card eaten. I didn't think it was that big of a deal since I would have the money the next day. I'll just go talk to them then. This happens to lots of people right?

Next day comes and I have money so I go to retrieve my debit card. I walk up to the teller and explain my situation. She seems to understand and asks for my name. I give it to her. She stops. "Hold on," she tells me and turns to the head teller next to her.

"Do you still have her card?"

Her card?!? The head teller did not need clarification. She knew who I was. Didn't ask my name, social, nothing.

"The card was destroyed. She needs to talk to Jason."

Who the F**K is Jason and why does he know so much about me?!?!

I head over to Jason who seemed to be waiting for me. I sit down and he types my name in his computer...without asking. He knew me too. I was the talk of the bank. "Oh dear," he says shaking his head, "How did you let this happen?" How did I let what happen?? I was overdrawn but I have money NOW! Isn't that what really matters? Can't we forget about the errors of the past?

The conversation continues as follows:

Jason: Is this still your phone number?
Me: Yes.
Jason: We tried to call you but you never got back to us.
Me: Well you see, the problem with that was that I already knew my account was overdrawn and I didn't think you had anything new to tell me. Oh yeah...and I didn't have money to pay my phone bill.
Jason: That makes sense.
Me: I have money now though.
Jason: Yes, that's good...but there was a charge everytime you overdrew your account.
Me: Oh?
Jason: You overdrew your account 7 times.
Me: Oh?
Jason: And then there were charges every 10 days it was overdrawn...
Me: Oh?

Needless to say, this all added up to a lot of money. The conversation got worse. At this point I was thinking that I should have majored in finance instead of education. Jason turned out to be a nice guy and he says hi to me every time I'm at the bank now. They all do now that I think about it. Apparently they get upset when you owe them money. Who knew?

Now if you'll excuse me I have to go pay back my sister, my mom, my rental office and late fee, get my car an oil change, and finally buy food that has some sort of nutritional value.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Today's Post is Brought to You by the Letter "B"

I've been given the letter B by Irish Chicken Soup. She did a pretty sweet job with the letter "W" so here goes "B". Ten things...

Bees: I was, am, and will forever be a Bayonne Bee. The fighting bee is the mascot of Bayonne High School. The bumblebee was chosen as the BHS mascot because physically, bumblebees should not be able to fly. Their wings are too small to support the weight of their big, round bodies. But they fly anyway. It’s inspirational. My sister often makes fun of my because I am 21 years old, about to graduate college and am STILL talking about high school.

Bayonne: My city by the bay. This is where I grew up and where I spend my time on the off-season when I’m not chasing down kindergarteners or wishing the flu on professors (just kidding…I LOVE ALL OF MY PROFESSORS VERY MUCH!). Anyway…Bayonne is nestled smack in the middle of Staten Island and Jersey City, and for those of you who have no idea where those places are, we’re across the water from New York City. It’s a small city and everyone knows everyone else’s business but I find something comforting in that. It's also where the Tom Cruise version of "War of the Worlds" was filmed.

Bunnies: I love bunnies. I have had three pet bunnies in my lifetime and the first two came to tragic ends.
Bunny #1 was Copper. Copper was a present from my dad on Valentine’s Day of 2nd grade. It was kind of a “sorry I don’t live with you anymore” gift (my parents split up the month before). My mom got tired of him and sent him back to my father’s house where he lived for 6 years until his brand new chocolate lab got a hold of him.
Bunny #2 was Bunny. Bunny was a gift from my darling boyfriend, Rome, on my 16th Birthday. Bunny was not a very nice bunny and tried to attack the Kringle. My mom got sick of that bunny too and sent her back to Rome where she lived for 2 years until we went off to college. At this time Rome’s father sold her to a pet store where, we later found out, she was fed to a snake.
Bunny #3 is Waffle. My darling, Waffle. I am determined to give Waffle a better life than my other two rabbits had (despite the fact that both of their deaths can sort of be blamed on my Momma).

Boys: Ugh. They’re horrible. Don’t EVER live with boys (see this for reasons why). For most of my life I’ve mostly been friends with boys because I realized early on that girls cannot be trusted (see this for reasons why). However, I have recently realized that boys cannot be trusted either (at least I learned early). Luckily, this has not resulted in me hating all people…just those over the age of 10. Boys are just interesting creatures. I’ve been told that boys are easier to raise than girls and so I hope to have boys for children. We’ll see how that goes.

Bacon: Everyone loves bacon. Even vegetarians love bacon…they just suppress the urge. The best thing about bacon is that it can be considered both a dish in it’s own right and a nice topping to almost any other type of food. For example, you can have a bacon cheeseburger, turkey and bacon club, a grilled cheese with bacon, or a classic BLT. When my sister and I were little we loved bacon. It was pretty much the only meat we would eat that wasn’t chicken. We went through a period when we felt guilty about eating bacon when the movie Babe came out. He was such a cute little pig that it was hard to imagine he was sitting on our plates right next to the pancakes. We got over that though. Why? Because bacon is awesome. Hail bacon!

Bon Jovi: Like any true Jersey Girl, I love Bon Jovi. They’re pretty much the best thing that happened to the 80’s (other than my birth, ha-ha). They’re also the best band to come from New Jersey. One of the things I admire about Jon Bon Jovi is that he still calls Jersey his home. He’s also married to his high school sweetheart. He’s an absolute superstar and still recognizes his home and remembers where he came from. You have to admire someone like that.

Big Blue: Ahh…the New York Giants. 2007 World Champions. You may remember that Super Bowl when we beat the undefeated New England Patriots. It was a glorious day. For those of you who don’t know, the New York Giants aren’t really a New York team at all. They actually play in East Rutherford, NJ. I realize that doesn’t sound as glamorous but it’s the truth. I was born and raised to love this team and I do. I got a lot of smack this past week from Philadelphia Eagles fans about the game this past Sunday but I don’t care. I’ll be right by their side in August when the kickoff preseason. I also have a thing for Eli Manning…his pictures are all over my room.

Berks: I started off my college education at Penn State Berks in Reading, PA. Despite the fact that I enjoy the nightlife in University Park (the main campus), I miss my quite rural campus. I learned more about myself in the two years I spent there than I did any other time in my life. I’ll always remember my roommates and dorm rooms and all nighters that always ended up with McDonald’s breakfast. Those were good times and I wouldn’t have traded them for the world.

Bears: I love bears. They are absolutely my favorite wild animals. If I believed in reincarnation, I would think that I was a bear in a previous life. We love all the same things! Napping, snacking, swimming! When I was little my dad had nicknames for my sister and me. I was Boo Bear and she was Baby Bear. Corny, I know but it was sweet at the time. I also had a teddy bear that was given to my mother at her baby shower by my Nana. The bear was older than me and I had it for 18 years…until the Kringle ate it. I still can’t look him in the face.

Bed: I love my bed. I’ve always had an issue with beds seeing as how my mother traded mine for an exercise bike last year. I have my sister’s bed in my apartment now since she’s in a dorm room. Every Tuesday and Thursday at about 2:00 pm I start to get excited. Why? Because I know that I will soon be warm in my bed drifting off into a glorious nap. I get just as excited at night when I know bedtime is approaching. Is this sad?

So there it is…my B’s. I hope you enjoyed it. If anyone is interested in their own letter then leave a comment. If not, then I don't know what to tell you.