I've had many friends over the years who have made some pretty bad "nighttime" decisions. You know those? The times when you're out and think a guy is just the bee's knees only to wake up the in the morning and scream for help.
Fortunately, I have never fallen victim to this what-the-hell-was-I-thinking experience (luckily Rome is a looker). However, the same cannot be said for these poor ladies. Of course it usually works out that this type of guy who makes you cringe with embarrassment is usually the one who is bursting with excitement and feels the need to tell the entire world the intimate details of your evening.
My friends ask me, "What do I do? Everyone knows!" To me the answer is simple...
Lie. Deny EVERYTHING.
The truth of the matter is, ladies, that guys lie. They lie so often in fact that this is the perfect time for you to lie because chances are that most people are going to take your side. Guys have been making up lies about sleeping with girls since the beginning of time, and if they don't lie they often exaggerate enough that it can certainly be considered a lie.
Feeling guilt about denying it? Don't. If the situation were flipped, they wouldn't think twice about denying you so don't worry about it! Keep your head held high and plead the fifth, my friend. I won't tell a soul.
Showing posts with label boys. Show all posts
Showing posts with label boys. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Today's Post is Brought to You by the Letter "B"
I've been given the letter B by Irish Chicken Soup. She did a pretty sweet job with the letter "W" so here goes "B". Ten things...
Bees: I was, am, and will forever be a Bayonne Bee. The fighting bee is the mascot of Bayonne High School. The bumblebee was chosen as the BHS mascot because physically, bumblebees should not be able to fly. Their wings are too small to support the weight of their big, round bodies. But they fly anyway. It’s inspirational. My sister often makes fun of my because I am 21 years old, about to graduate college and am STILL talking about high school.
Bayonne: My city by the bay. This is where I grew up and where I spend my time on the off-season when I’m not chasing down kindergarteners or wishing the flu on professors (just kidding…I LOVE ALL OF MY PROFESSORS VERY MUCH!). Anyway…Bayonne is nestled smack in the middle of Staten Island and Jersey City, and for those of you who have no idea where those places are, we’re across the water from New York City. It’s a small city and everyone knows everyone else’s business but I find something comforting in that. It's also where the Tom Cruise version of "War of the Worlds" was filmed.
Bunnies: I love bunnies. I have had three pet bunnies in my lifetime and the first two came to tragic ends.
Bunny #1 was Copper. Copper was a present from my dad on Valentine’s Day of 2nd grade. It was kind of a “sorry I don’t live with you anymore” gift (my parents split up the month before). My mom got tired of him and sent him back to my father’s house where he lived for 6 years until his brand new chocolate lab got a hold of him.
Bunny #2 was Bunny. Bunny was a gift from my darling boyfriend, Rome, on my 16th Birthday. Bunny was not a very nice bunny and tried to attack the Kringle. My mom got sick of that bunny too and sent her back to Rome where she lived for 2 years until we went off to college. At this time Rome’s father sold her to a pet store where, we later found out, she was fed to a snake.
Bunny #3 is Waffle. My darling, Waffle. I am determined to give Waffle a better life than my other two rabbits had (despite the fact that both of their deaths can sort of be blamed on my Momma).
Boys: Ugh. They’re horrible. Don’t EVER live with boys (see this for reasons why). For most of my life I’ve mostly been friends with boys because I realized early on that girls cannot be trusted (see this for reasons why). However, I have recently realized that boys cannot be trusted either (at least I learned early). Luckily, this has not resulted in me hating all people…just those over the age of 10. Boys are just interesting creatures. I’ve been told that boys are easier to raise than girls and so I hope to have boys for children. We’ll see how that goes.
Bacon: Everyone loves bacon. Even vegetarians love bacon…they just suppress the urge. The best thing about bacon is that it can be considered both a dish in it’s own right and a nice topping to almost any other type of food. For example, you can have a bacon cheeseburger, turkey and bacon club, a grilled cheese with bacon, or a classic BLT. When my sister and I were little we loved bacon. It was pretty much the only meat we would eat that wasn’t chicken. We went through a period when we felt guilty about eating bacon when the movie Babe came out. He was such a cute little pig that it was hard to imagine he was sitting on our plates right next to the pancakes. We got over that though. Why? Because bacon is awesome. Hail bacon!
Bon Jovi: Like any true Jersey Girl, I love Bon Jovi. They’re pretty much the best thing that happened to the 80’s (other than my birth, ha-ha). They’re also the best band to come from New Jersey. One of the things I admire about Jon Bon Jovi is that he still calls Jersey his home. He’s also married to his high school sweetheart. He’s an absolute superstar and still recognizes his home and remembers where he came from. You have to admire someone like that.
Big Blue: Ahh…the New York Giants. 2007 World Champions. You may remember that Super Bowl when we beat the undefeated New England Patriots. It was a glorious day. For those of you who don’t know, the New York Giants aren’t really a New York team at all. They actually play in East Rutherford, NJ. I realize that doesn’t sound as glamorous but it’s the truth. I was born and raised to love this team and I do. I got a lot of smack this past week from Philadelphia Eagles fans about the game this past Sunday but I don’t care. I’ll be right by their side in August when the kickoff preseason. I also have a thing for Eli Manning…his pictures are all over my room.
Berks: I started off my college education at Penn State Berks in Reading, PA. Despite the fact that I enjoy the nightlife in University Park (the main campus), I miss my quite rural campus. I learned more about myself in the two years I spent there than I did any other time in my life. I’ll always remember my roommates and dorm rooms and all nighters that always ended up with McDonald’s breakfast. Those were good times and I wouldn’t have traded them for the world.
Bears: I love bears. They are absolutely my favorite wild animals. If I believed in reincarnation, I would think that I was a bear in a previous life. We love all the same things! Napping, snacking, swimming! When I was little my dad had nicknames for my sister and me. I was Boo Bear and she was Baby Bear. Corny, I know but it was sweet at the time. I also had a teddy bear that was given to my mother at her baby shower by my Nana. The bear was older than me and I had it for 18 years…until the Kringle ate it. I still can’t look him in the face.
Bed: I love my bed. I’ve always had an issue with beds seeing as how my mother traded mine for an exercise bike last year. I have my sister’s bed in my apartment now since she’s in a dorm room. Every Tuesday and Thursday at about 2:00 pm I start to get excited. Why? Because I know that I will soon be warm in my bed drifting off into a glorious nap. I get just as excited at night when I know bedtime is approaching. Is this sad?
So there it is…my B’s. I hope you enjoyed it. If anyone is interested in their own letter then leave a comment. If not, then I don't know what to tell you.
Bees: I was, am, and will forever be a Bayonne Bee. The fighting bee is the mascot of Bayonne High School. The bumblebee was chosen as the BHS mascot because physically, bumblebees should not be able to fly. Their wings are too small to support the weight of their big, round bodies. But they fly anyway. It’s inspirational. My sister often makes fun of my because I am 21 years old, about to graduate college and am STILL talking about high school.
Bayonne: My city by the bay. This is where I grew up and where I spend my time on the off-season when I’m not chasing down kindergarteners or wishing the flu on professors (just kidding…I LOVE ALL OF MY PROFESSORS VERY MUCH!). Anyway…Bayonne is nestled smack in the middle of Staten Island and Jersey City, and for those of you who have no idea where those places are, we’re across the water from New York City. It’s a small city and everyone knows everyone else’s business but I find something comforting in that. It's also where the Tom Cruise version of "War of the Worlds" was filmed.
Bunnies: I love bunnies. I have had three pet bunnies in my lifetime and the first two came to tragic ends.
Bunny #1 was Copper. Copper was a present from my dad on Valentine’s Day of 2nd grade. It was kind of a “sorry I don’t live with you anymore” gift (my parents split up the month before). My mom got tired of him and sent him back to my father’s house where he lived for 6 years until his brand new chocolate lab got a hold of him.
Bunny #2 was Bunny. Bunny was a gift from my darling boyfriend, Rome, on my 16th Birthday. Bunny was not a very nice bunny and tried to attack the Kringle. My mom got sick of that bunny too and sent her back to Rome where she lived for 2 years until we went off to college. At this time Rome’s father sold her to a pet store where, we later found out, she was fed to a snake.
Bunny #3 is Waffle. My darling, Waffle. I am determined to give Waffle a better life than my other two rabbits had (despite the fact that both of their deaths can sort of be blamed on my Momma).
Boys: Ugh. They’re horrible. Don’t EVER live with boys (see this for reasons why). For most of my life I’ve mostly been friends with boys because I realized early on that girls cannot be trusted (see this for reasons why). However, I have recently realized that boys cannot be trusted either (at least I learned early). Luckily, this has not resulted in me hating all people…just those over the age of 10. Boys are just interesting creatures. I’ve been told that boys are easier to raise than girls and so I hope to have boys for children. We’ll see how that goes.
Bacon: Everyone loves bacon. Even vegetarians love bacon…they just suppress the urge. The best thing about bacon is that it can be considered both a dish in it’s own right and a nice topping to almost any other type of food. For example, you can have a bacon cheeseburger, turkey and bacon club, a grilled cheese with bacon, or a classic BLT. When my sister and I were little we loved bacon. It was pretty much the only meat we would eat that wasn’t chicken. We went through a period when we felt guilty about eating bacon when the movie Babe came out. He was such a cute little pig that it was hard to imagine he was sitting on our plates right next to the pancakes. We got over that though. Why? Because bacon is awesome. Hail bacon!
Bon Jovi: Like any true Jersey Girl, I love Bon Jovi. They’re pretty much the best thing that happened to the 80’s (other than my birth, ha-ha). They’re also the best band to come from New Jersey. One of the things I admire about Jon Bon Jovi is that he still calls Jersey his home. He’s also married to his high school sweetheart. He’s an absolute superstar and still recognizes his home and remembers where he came from. You have to admire someone like that.
Big Blue: Ahh…the New York Giants. 2007 World Champions. You may remember that Super Bowl when we beat the undefeated New England Patriots. It was a glorious day. For those of you who don’t know, the New York Giants aren’t really a New York team at all. They actually play in East Rutherford, NJ. I realize that doesn’t sound as glamorous but it’s the truth. I was born and raised to love this team and I do. I got a lot of smack this past week from Philadelphia Eagles fans about the game this past Sunday but I don’t care. I’ll be right by their side in August when the kickoff preseason. I also have a thing for Eli Manning…his pictures are all over my room.
Berks: I started off my college education at Penn State Berks in Reading, PA. Despite the fact that I enjoy the nightlife in University Park (the main campus), I miss my quite rural campus. I learned more about myself in the two years I spent there than I did any other time in my life. I’ll always remember my roommates and dorm rooms and all nighters that always ended up with McDonald’s breakfast. Those were good times and I wouldn’t have traded them for the world.
Bears: I love bears. They are absolutely my favorite wild animals. If I believed in reincarnation, I would think that I was a bear in a previous life. We love all the same things! Napping, snacking, swimming! When I was little my dad had nicknames for my sister and me. I was Boo Bear and she was Baby Bear. Corny, I know but it was sweet at the time. I also had a teddy bear that was given to my mother at her baby shower by my Nana. The bear was older than me and I had it for 18 years…until the Kringle ate it. I still can’t look him in the face.
Bed: I love my bed. I’ve always had an issue with beds seeing as how my mother traded mine for an exercise bike last year. I have my sister’s bed in my apartment now since she’s in a dorm room. Every Tuesday and Thursday at about 2:00 pm I start to get excited. Why? Because I know that I will soon be warm in my bed drifting off into a glorious nap. I get just as excited at night when I know bedtime is approaching. Is this sad?
So there it is…my B’s. I hope you enjoyed it. If anyone is interested in their own letter then leave a comment. If not, then I don't know what to tell you.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Choose Your Battles
I've had many roommates over the past three years (and many issues with each of them). If there's one thing I've learned from these experiences it's the fact that I need to choose my battles.
Take my most recent issue for example. I have a roommate who shares the same major. We have the same classes, same homework, same books, same EVERYTHING!!! This said roommate of mine decided that he wasn't going to buy any books this semester. Instead, he decided that he would wait until I'm not home (or sleeping) and come into my room and help himself to my books. Books that I paid several hundred dollars for!!
So...I have decided to put together a list of things to look out for when choosing a roommate. Pay attention!! This information may one day save your sanity!!
1. When your roommate doesn't clean the bathroom, DO NOT assume that if you let it go he will realize that it needs to be done. The average male roommate will allow the filth to pile up until his mother comes to visit.
2. When a roommate is not home, DO NOT leave a light on for them. Chances are that your roommate will not come home and even if he does he won't turn that light off. You need to accept the fact that you are the only one who cares about the electric bill.
3. When you need to set up cable/internet/electric DO NOT believe your roommate when he tells you that he will take care of it. He won't.
4. When your roommate makes dinner you need to realize that this is the time to make a decision. Would you rather clean up after him or wait for the bugs to do it?
5. DO NOT choose a roommate who chews. You will be forever surrounded by Gatorade bottles that have been turned into spitting receptacles. And guess what...he won't throw those out either.
6. Always make sure the toilet seat is down.
7. DO NOT LIVE WITH BOYS
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