Confessions of a Book Intern

So I've been tagged in my first book meme (is that what it's called?) by my favorite vodka mom. Since she referred to herself as a "book whore" I thought it would be fitting to refer to myself as a "book intern". I really love to read because it makes me feel really smart when I can show off and tell friends about all the different books that I've read. Sadly, however, I rarely have time to read for pleasure during the school year due to the massive amounts of theory and philosophies and how-to-not-screw-up-children-for-life manuals. Right now I'm reading a lot of nonfiction that has to do with some projects that I'm working on.

What I'm reading now...

1. Nancy Rubin Isabella of Castille: The First Renaissance Queen
2.William Thomas Walsh Isabella of Spain
3.Peggy K. Liss Isabel The Queen

Are you beginning to sense a theme here?

Okay, so maybe that was cheating. I am not really reading the Isabella books out of pleasure, but I do enjoy historical fiction or anything that relates to the royal families of Europe. They were so messed up, who can resist?

Some of my favorites:

1. Phillipa Gregory The Other Boleyn Girl I am absolutely fascinated by King Henry VIII and his wives (particularly the first 3) and their children.

2. Michael Farquhar A Treasury of Royal Scandals: The Shocking True Stories History's Wickedest, Weirdest, Most Wanton Kings, Queens, Tsars, Popes, and Emperors This is actually nonfiction but it was a really easy read. Interesting, funny, and slightly (okay, very) disturbing.

3. Phillipa Gregory The Constant Princess This is the story of Katherine of Aragon (who just so happened to be the youngest daughter of...you guess it...Isabella of Castille).


I also LOVE...

1. Hamlet You know who wrote it. It's his greatest play...hands down. I read it every other year. In fact, I'm due for a refresher.

2. J.D. Salinger The Catcher in the Rye I begged my eleventh grade English teacher to study this book with our class. He informed me that it drives/drove people crazy and that the fact that I wanted to read it so badly said something about my personality. Hmm....

3. V.C. Andrews Flowers in the Attic This is the first real novel I read and I've been absolutely in love with it ever since. I read the whole series and let me tell you...these people are messed up. Although, they are in most of her books. (Hint: Incest seems to be a common theme.)

4. Gregory Maguire Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West I found the twistedness somewhat refreshing and often found myself laughing out loud. Please be warned that this is NOT the play. It's much darker, deeper, and lacks those playful tunes.

So there it is...a look into the world of a book intern. I hear the right way of doing this is to now pass the meme onto someone else. I guess I could pass this on to Pat (since he'll probably forget he even has a blog), The Chatty Barista (who can use it as something to chat with his customers about), and Hartman (so he can talk to us about something other than those horrible economics lessons). Have fun with that gentlemen!

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a microwave oven

I think I forgot to mention in my last post that we don't have a microwave either. I feel spoiled for saying this, but I'm not sure how long I'm going to make it here in my new home (and to think...Christmas break is twice as long). You don't realize how important things are in your life until you don't have them anymore. I'm working on rewriting a song about my new life at home...

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a microwave oven.
My friends all cook real fast, I just want to pop it in!

Okay, so it's not award worthy but I'm working on it. Yesterday my sister and I had quite the experience trying to make frozen pizza and buffalo wings at the same time. We didn't know what to do because they both required different temperatures. It was a sad moment.

This morning my sister comes out of her room (you remember....the only one available) and we had a difficult conversation...

"Kimmie, are you hungry?"
"No, are you?"
"No, but I'm worried I might be in 45 minutes and that's how long it's gonna take us to make the pizza."
"Oh...that's a good point. I might be hungry in 45 minutes too!"
"I think we should regroup in ten minutes...then maybe we can predict how we'll feel in an hour."

...the downside of growing up in the high tech age. Now where's the phone? I need to order some Chinese!

Home Sweet Home...just somewhere else

So I was on the phone with my mother 2 weeks ago and we were discussing plans for my Thanksgiving break (which, might I add, I've been looking forward to for quite some time). After a few minutes of chatting and catching up she drops the bombshell...

"Oh, by the way...we're moving."

"Oh? When?"

"Saturday"

I was a little shocked. We've never owned a house and I've moved several times in my life due to rent going up or not getting along with neighbors. We've always lived in the same city and our moves never effected what school I attended so it never bothered me. A change of scenery if you will. This move would not have been that big of a deal either except for the fact that I usually know about it more than two days ahead of time. Whatever...water under the bridge, right?

After my five hour drive home of the winter wonderland State College, PA has become this week I arrived in my hometown. I quickly realized that I did not know where I lived since my mother had forgotten to give me my new address. When I pull up, she's waiting outside with our dog. The Kringle is a half black lab half border collie and has long black fur (almost like that of a golden retriever). This dog was not my dog. This dog was shaved. You have to believe me when I tell you that when The Kringle looked at me I saw the embarrassment in his eyes. Who shaves their dog in November? Cruel people do.

Once I get over the fact that I have a new dog, I get my laundry out of the back seat. My mother stares at me blankly...she forgot to tell me that we don't have a washer anymore. I have to bring my laundry to a laundromat. Now I'm getting upset because that was wasted space in my backseat. I can go to a laundromat at school. It took me twenty minutes to fit the laundry and my rabbit's cage in my backseat.

I take my stuff upstairs to our new apartment and the place is pretty nice. I ask my mom where I should put my stuff. She stares at me blankly again (which is really starting to make me nervous). "Well, your sister got home before you...", which translates to, "she got here first and therefore has claimed the only room that is available".

At this point, I'm beginning to think that my mother may have become a frenemy

I take my things into the living room with my new, shaved dog close behind.

"Mom, where's the couch."
"Oh, it didn't fit up the stairs so we had to get rid of it."

So now I have a new, shaved dog, no washer, no room, no couch, and my only options are to sleep with my mom in her bed or on the floor. I can't sleep on the floor because I have a bad back. I wouldn't mind sleeping with my mom but she's a kicker and the new, shaved dog will probably be joining us.

The moral of the story? When your children go off to college and you start making new arrangements, you might want to let them know about them before they come back home for Thanksgiving.

Have You Met My Best Frenemy?

My mentor and I were having a conversation today about two of the girls in our class. Sara and Alana are best friends and today at recess Sara was playing with a bug she had found and Alana came over and stomped on it. In a typical kindergarten fashion, they both came over to tell us about it. Once they walked away I turned to my mentor and said that they’re destined to be life long frenemies. After a minute or so of hysterical laughter, she convinced me to write a blog about it.

Frenemy: (n) Someone who is both a friend and enemy, a relationship that is both mutually beneficial or dependent while being competitive, fraught with risk and mistrust.

Of course, I continued this conversation with a friend of mine. Being of the male gender, he was completely confused by the entire idea of a frenemy. I don’t blame him…it’s something that I don’t quite understand myself. One of the most interesting things about frenemies is that they seem to be female, therefore boys do not understand them. “I don’t get it,” a boy may say, “if you don’t like someone then don’t be friends with them.” Silly boys, if only it were that simple.

I have to admit that I’ve had my fair share of frenemies in my past. In fact, I can remember having frenemies way back in first grade. If you’re a girl, frenemies are just a part of life. The worst part about frenemies is that as much as you want to cut them out of your life, you realize that you need them for something. Maybe she has the best toys? Maybe you need her to pass a class? Maybe she has a really cute brother? Maybe she knows your deepest darkest secret and you cannot afford to make her angry? (This one has always been my downfall.) Whatever the reason it’s not a situation a girl enjoys getting into. Luckily, I’ve compiled a list of things to look out for when trying to avoid frenemies.

BEWARE: FRENEMIES COME IN ALL AGES, SHAPES, COLORS, AND SIZES. DO NOT GET CAUGHT OFF GUARD!!!!

First Grade Frenemy: This is the girl in the class who likes to buy friends. Sure, she offers you her Beauty and the Beast pencil…little do you know she’s about to go tell the teacher that you stole it from her! Don’t worry though…she’ll always offer you some of her snack at lunch to make up for any confusion.

Fifth Grade Frenemy: This is the girl who calls you on the phone so that the two of you can take about how much you hate Paige…little do you know that she has Paige on three way and she’s listening to the whole conversation! Don’t worry though…she’ll invite you over to her pool party to make up for any confusion.

Ninth Grade Frenemy: This is the girl who you confess your undying love for the guy in fourth period to. She’ll promise you to put in a good word since she sits behind him…little do you know that she secretly wants him for herself and eventually you’ll find them making out at the next hockey game. Don’t worry though…she’ll blackmail her hot brother to ask you out in order to make up for any confusion.

College Frenemy: This is the girl who likes to go out and have a good time. She’ll invite you out with her and some other friends so that you can have a bonding experience…little do you know she’s about to leave you stranded with her boyfriend’s creepy cousin and no way home. Don’t worry though…she’ll buy the next round in order to make up for any confusion.

This is where my frenemy experience ends. I’m sure I’m bound to have many more as I continue on the journey of life. You’d think a girl would learn…

Choose Your Battles

I've had many roommates over the past three years (and many issues with each of them). If there's one thing I've learned from these experiences it's the fact that I need to choose my battles.

Take my most recent issue for example. I have a roommate who shares the same major. We have the same classes, same homework, same books, same EVERYTHING!!! This said roommate of mine decided that he wasn't going to buy any books this semester. Instead, he decided that he would wait until I'm not home (or sleeping) and come into my room and help himself to my books. Books that I paid several hundred dollars for!!

So...I have decided to put together a list of things to look out for when choosing a roommate. Pay attention!! This information may one day save your sanity!!

1. When your roommate doesn't clean the bathroom, DO NOT assume that if you let it go he will realize that it needs to be done. The average male roommate will allow the filth to pile up until his mother comes to visit.

2. When a roommate is not home, DO NOT leave a light on for them. Chances are that your roommate will not come home and even if he does he won't turn that light off. You need to accept the fact that you are the only one who cares about the electric bill.

3. When you need to set up cable/internet/electric DO NOT believe your roommate when he tells you that he will take care of it. He won't.

4. When your roommate makes dinner you need to realize that this is the time to make a decision. Would you rather clean up after him or wait for the bugs to do it?

5. DO NOT choose a roommate who chews. You will be forever surrounded by Gatorade bottles that have been turned into spitting receptacles. And guess what...he won't throw those out either.

6. Always make sure the toilet seat is down.

7. DO NOT LIVE WITH BOYS

Cleaner and Greener

A friend I graduated high school with shared this article with me earlier today. I grew up in Bayonne, New Jersey which is pretty much smack in the middle of Elizabeth, Newark, Kearney, and Jersey City (you know, the dirty parts). Anyway, a little over a decade ago I had the pleasure of being taught by Tom Tokar and Anna Panayiotou. We were part of the "Cleaner and Greener 2000" program. Our goal was to make the city of Bayonne (you guessed it) cleaner and greener by the year 2000. To be honest I had forgotten about it since then, or at least I did until today. As a future educator myself, it's nice to see that there are still teachers who care enough to keep programs like this going. So here it is, still running strong.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/09/nyregion/new-jersey/09colnj.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

On the Eve of...

One last post before the big day...(once again I stole this from someone else)

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Dear Reds

I got this email from one of my former high school teachers (whom is still very near and dear to my heart). I was rolling on the floor after reading it so I hope you enjoy it as well...

Dear Red States:

If you manage to steal this election too we've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes California , Hawaii ,Oregon , Washington , Minnesota , Wisconsin , Michigan , Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas , Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85% of America 's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama . We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian
Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines, 90% of all cheese, 90% of the high tech industry, 95% of the corn and soybeans (thanks Iowa!), most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92% of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

Peace out,
Blue States


...2 more days