So I'm sitting at their kitchen table, just minding my own business when Hannah comes up to me with a big grin on her face (Montana was close behind).
"Can I give you a makeover?!"
...I wasn't aware that I needed one. If there's one thing I learned in Kindergarten it's that children are brutally honest, so if the 5 and 7 year olds think I need to update my look I'll take their word for it.
It started out with a manicure. The nail polish was of the peel away variety so it didn't last past the first hour. Then it was time for eye shadow. First of all, I would just like to say that there were 4 different compartments of eye shadow, blush, and lip gloss. I couldn't tell which was which and that's when I became worried.
Slowly she dipped the wand in the pink "eye shadow". I mean pink. Full on 1985 hot ass PINK! I closed my eyes and hoped for the best. She began to apply and then I heard the most horrifying words I've heard in a long time...
"No, Hannah! That's too much!"
When the 5 year old is telling the 7 year old that she's using too much eye shadow you know there's a problem!! I looked like a clown for 3 days. I just kept scrubbing and scrubbing. It would not come off. I'm pretty sure that "eye shadow" was the lip gloss or something else that greases up your eyelids like a fast food cheeseburger. This stuff would probably make it through a nuclear war.
This is false advertising. The package said I would look just like Hannah Montana and I came out looking like Amy Winehouse. Is this Hannah Montana important enough to have a complaint department? I'd like the address.
