Polizia!

Here we go with the college stories. The only problem is that since I've been reflecting on my college memories, I realize that they aren't as funny retrospect. Just a series of "you had to be there" stories that make you want to stab yourself in the ear.

Sorry to all my home friends who have heard these stories over and over again.

Here's one anyway...

I met my roommates on a school trip to Venice my sophomore year (the twins...not the evil roommate. I knew him before that but that's another entry entirely). Anywho...apparently the week we spent in Venice was right after they passed a smoking ban and you could no longer smoke indoors. No big deal, the law had already been in place in Jersey for about a year so I was used to it.

What they neglected to tell us about the smoking rule was that it applied to public property as well. While we were waiting for the train to Verona a few of us were outside catching a smoke break. The police caught us. Someone neglected to mention that you cannot smoke on the front steps of the train station either.

The polizia ambushed us demanding out passports. Thank God the roommate was carrying mine because I knew I didn't have it. I almost crapped my pants at the thought of being hauled off to an Italian jail. I hear Americans don't do so well overseas.

Later on the trip I had an opportunity to pay the roommate back for his good deed but didn't take advantage. The day before we left I was cleaning out my bag and throwing things away I didn't need. I found receits from our flights and I didn't think they were that important. I threw his away immediately. I was going to throw mine away but got nervous and decided to keep it just in case...

...those were our boarding passes for the flight home. No wonder we hate each other.

Roommate of the Year

Dear Ginger,

Thank you for being my roommate. I sincerely apologize for when your twin forgot her ID and you had to meet us at the Cell Block with it. I'm sorry that your sister texted me from the Kiddie section that we needed to leave to catch the bus and I didn't get the text until almost 15 minutes later. I'm sorry I had to track her down in the kiddie section among all the Freshman making out and practically having sex on the dance floor. I'm sorry your twin was standing next to the speaker and I couldn't hear a damn word she was saying.

I'm sorry we had to track down her coat because it was not in the coat rack by the kiddie section, but rather the coat rack in the over 21 section. I'm sorry I had to throw a bitch fit in order to convince the chick at the coat check that I did know the owner of the coat and was not trying to steal it.

I'm sorry that by the time we actually left the bus had come almost 20 minutes earlier.

I thank you for leaving your warm bed, with wet head to drive Henry downtown to pick us up. Remind me to take you to Red Lobster (or Olive Garden at the very least!) so that I can show my appreciation for your continued dedication to our friendship.

Love,
Your Sexy Roommate

P.S. Please forgive us =)

Choose Your Battles

I've had many roommates over the past three years (and many issues with each of them). If there's one thing I've learned from these experiences it's the fact that I need to choose my battles.

Take my most recent issue for example. I have a roommate who shares the same major. We have the same classes, same homework, same books, same EVERYTHING!!! This said roommate of mine decided that he wasn't going to buy any books this semester. Instead, he decided that he would wait until I'm not home (or sleeping) and come into my room and help himself to my books. Books that I paid several hundred dollars for!!

So...I have decided to put together a list of things to look out for when choosing a roommate. Pay attention!! This information may one day save your sanity!!

1. When your roommate doesn't clean the bathroom, DO NOT assume that if you let it go he will realize that it needs to be done. The average male roommate will allow the filth to pile up until his mother comes to visit.

2. When a roommate is not home, DO NOT leave a light on for them. Chances are that your roommate will not come home and even if he does he won't turn that light off. You need to accept the fact that you are the only one who cares about the electric bill.

3. When you need to set up cable/internet/electric DO NOT believe your roommate when he tells you that he will take care of it. He won't.

4. When your roommate makes dinner you need to realize that this is the time to make a decision. Would you rather clean up after him or wait for the bugs to do it?

5. DO NOT choose a roommate who chews. You will be forever surrounded by Gatorade bottles that have been turned into spitting receptacles. And guess what...he won't throw those out either.

6. Always make sure the toilet seat is down.

7. DO NOT LIVE WITH BOYS