So Long, Farewell

I'm signing off. I've decided that my situation is too delicate right now for people to know who I am. I'll be around though, in fact I already am. That's right, I won't go down.

It's been a fun ride. Thanks to my new found friends for the love and support and thanks to everyone else to kept reading and gave me something to write about.

I'll miss you all.

I Told You I Was Queen

I've been tagged by Snow White for this Queen award. Fitting isn't it? I've gotten a lot of backlash for this blog and I've been laying low recently. Call it Vodka Mom syndrome I guess. It's nice to know that some people are still keeping an eye on me to see what I'm up to.

Here's the rough part...the rules.
1. List 7 things that make me awe-summm!
2. Pass the award onto 7 bloggers that I love
3. Tag those bloggers to let them know they are now Queens too (and link back to the Queen who tagged you)

7 Things That Make Me Awe-Summm!

1. After everything that has gone this past year with this blog, I have still managed to keep them coming. If ya don't like it, don't read it!
2. Not only am a 21 year old female that can change a tire by HERSELF but I have also taught at least 3 males how to as well.
3. I do pretty good impersonations. Not celebrity impersonations, but impersonations of everyday people in my everyday life. (I have mastered the impersonation of 5 Kindergarteners).
4. I remember approximately 73% of my color guard choreography from high school 5 years ago.
5. I am very resourceful. My car radio broke last week and instead of driving around with no music, I broke out my mother's old boom box and planted it right in my front seat. Now I have a radio.
6. I can fit my ear inside of a snapple cap.
7. I can parallel park, change the radio station, and be on the phone at the same time. It sounds dangerous, but not when I do it. I'm that good.

That was actually really hard. I'm hoping that I'll think of about 10 more things that make me completely awesome once I post this.

My 7 Queens...

1. Vodka Mom @ I Need A Martini (as if she needs another one)
2. Ice Queen @ The Constant Chill (haha...love those queen names)
3. Sarah K @ Randumb
4. Errant @ My Own Circus Show
5. Hit 40 @ Sane Without Drugs
6. Irish Chicken Soup @ Vitrifying Hearts
7. Lissa @ Whooo's That Girl?

We Don't Like You Either!

My sister and I made the decision to go to Pennsylvania colleges. Through our experience we've run into many people who like us, then find out we're from North Jersey and catch an attitude.

My sister just came back from a road trip with a friend from Deleware. This friend has parents from North Carolina. They found out my sister was from North Jersey and they strongly discouraged him from joining her on this road trip. After some arguing he was told, "Fine, go...but don't bring her around here."

Personally, I don't have an issue with people from other states until I find out that they hate me because of the Jersey thing. I mean really? WTF? What did we do to North Carolina? Are they jealous? Can someone help me clear this issue up?

Tell All Your Friends

You win. I can't do this anymore. The anger and frustration is eating me alive and it's turning my heart. I don't know what you want from me. All I ask is peace. One last week of peace so that everything can be said and done. My spirit has been broken but not killed. There is more to life than this hatred that you have drawn out over these past months and I will not be consumed by it as you have. I hope you find peace in your bitterness.

I still have a few people on my side. I'm cutting my loses and moving on.

...tell all your friends

Prop H8

One of my best friends sent me a link to the video that her company did about the gay marriage protest in LA yesterday. I'm posting it because a.) I'm incredibly proud that this Jersey girl went to school in Florida and then moved out to LA (you showed them Heather) and b.) I really believe in the message.

Now What?

So I finally graduated and as my peers head down the shore and get ready to start their careers I thought I would give everyone an update on what's going on with me.

- I still don't have a job.
- I don't have health insurance.
- All of my friends have gone home 3 weeks ago.
- I'm down to about $50 in my account and my rent isn't paid yet (shouldn't have written that...someone's going to pass that info onto the roommate...damn).
- My rabbit and I are sharing a bag of pretzels as our main form of nutrition. I consider this to be a great personality strength as I'm sure many people would have let the rabbit fend for himself by now.
- While my car is running on fumes and my check engine light is flashing, my friend in the passenger seat turns and says to me, "I think you could use some new windshield wipers". I'll add it to the list.

There's really no way for me to describe to you the limbo that I have found myself in this past week or so. The looming "now what?" is just hanging over my head...I just want to go home.

Can I Graduate?

Tomorrow afternoon I will officially become a Penn State alum. Let me just tell you....it feels good. I'm ready to move on and be a real person. Exciting, right?? In case any of you were wondering...

No, I don't have a job for September.

No, I don't have a job for the summer.

No, I won't have insurance.

No, I don't know if I'm going to live at home for the first year or not.

Yes, I have loans.

Thanks!

Spin Cycle: Prom Night Uncensored

I'm picking up on this spin cycle thing from Sprite's Keeper. I saw Joanie's old prom pics and I absolutely had to post! The theme this week is prom which is wonderful for me because I went to a prom every year (I had lots of older friends and was so gorgeous that everyone just wanted to be seen with me).

Allow me to begin by stating that our prom was doomed before it even started. Two days before prom I went with Rome to get his tux and apparently he was fitted by a baboon because not a single piece of his tux fit him. In fact, each piece looked like it belonged to its own tux entirely. Then, the day before the prom our auditorium went up in smoke and several windows and vehicles fell victim to the flames. If those weren't signs then I'm not sure what one is.
So...my senior prom was in June 10, 2005 (I'm the blond bombshell in the back) and was held at the Mezzanine in Newark, New Jersey. It sounded like a really fancy place and the photos online were absolutely gorgeous. Unfortunately, the place was more like our prom was being held on the mezzanine level of an office building. You had to take the elevator up four floors to get to the bathroom.

Before we get to the prom everyone meets in the high school gym for pictures and bus assignments. Bayonne High School came up with the idea of putting the entire senior class on buses to the prom to avoid drunken limo rides. It makes a lot of sense looking back but that gym was a sauna! By the time we got on the buses several girls had melting hair.

Rome and I got into 2 major fights that night. The first one was because he started dancing with a girl I didn't like. I slapped him. It was a good one. Right across the face in the middle of the dining room. Someone got a picture of it. I would share it with you if I had a copy but apparently no one has it. I can't really remember what the second fight was about...I may have been a little hormonal that evening. Luckily he got over it.

Now that I think about it, everyone was fighting that night. My friend Trish was pissed at her boyfriend because he like his ex's prom the year before better, my friend Ann was trying to avoid her date and hook up with Jared who was there with Molly. Molly was a little upset about that. Our high school football star got pissed at his date, threw a chair across the room, and got kicked out. He went on to get a full ride to Penn State (they make me pay ::tear::) as a running back I believe. He ended up tearing his ACL and I haven't heard anything about him since.

John's prom date was a girl who had graduated the year before and ended up disappearing a short time after our graduation. He tried to get in contact with her to at least give her the prom picture but thought it would be awkward. "Hey...I know you want to drop off the face of the planet and never talk to anyone again but I have this picture of us and you look really cute!".

Junior Prom the year before was much less eventful. Here's a pic from that too.

The Locks Are Always Redder On The Other Head??

I have an addiction. I have an addiction to dying my hair. I've had every hair color you could imagine. I've been blond, brunette, a red head, and I even had black hair at one point. Every time I need my driver's license I have to provide a second form of identification because my hair color never matches. I don't even know what my natural hair color is anymore.

Most of the time I dye it because I just get bored or see a movie with a fabulous shade of chestnut brown or champagne blond that I absolutely must have on my head. Sometimes it goes too far. Usually when this happens it's red.

All I wanted was my highlights redone...but apparently once you have a little red in your hair and more is too much. Right now my hair color looks something like this...
I've been told that I have trouble knowing when enough is enough. Now I have to think how I'm going to explain this to my colleagues. I really need to give this up...or at least the red.

Come and Get It!

I don't know if there is a magic aura about my apartment or if my friends are just absent minded but they keep leaving things at my house. I guess I'm not free of blame myself since by the time I find these homeless belongings I can't remember who they belong to.

Since the end of the semester is coming and move out time is almost upon us, I have decided to post these pictures in the hopes that someone will claim them. If no one claims them I'm selling them to the highest bidder. (email me if you see anything you like).

Men's hoodie. Excellent condition (no stink). Size L

Men's prescription glasses. Excellent condition. Found in Twin #1's makeup bag. (She swears she doesn't know a thing)

Men's Hollister Tshirt. Size M. Good condition. I'm pretty sure this one came from Jersey with me in August and I just never got around to bringing it back.

Women's sweatshirt. Excellent condition. Size S

Blue bath towel. Fair condition. This one has been around for approximately 6 months.

Female hoodie. Good condition. Size M

Black umbrella w/hook handle. Good condition. Better come get this one quick...Twin #1 is kind of attached.

JanSport book bag. Fair condition.

Love Notes

A message from twin #2 to twin #1...

The little things like this really make me miss my sister.

How Do You Do This Everyday?

Rome got a job substitute teaching in our hometown. Apparently, Pennsylvania is the only state that won't let just any John Doe off the street fill in for a teacher.

Today he was in an elementary school for the gym teacher. I got a text promptly at 3:05 that stated "I'm exhausted. I could never do this everyday."

...welcome to my life.

I Did It Again

Yeah...I locked my keys in the car again. For the third time since January. They say the average person does this twice in his or her lifetime. That means I have not only done this enough for myself, but that someone will never lock their keys in the car because I have already done it twice for them as well.

I have saved someone the stress of standing out in the rain waiting for a tow truck.

I accept cash and checks with the thank you notes.

Operation Garden Lion

When I was a sophomore I had a really close knit group of friends. We would all hang out together constantly and on any given night there were no less than 9 people in one dorm room. It was the the first time in any of our lives that we were on our own and making our own decisions. Good or bad...they were our decisions.

My roommate was a pizza deliver boy on the weekends and it eventually got to the point that he knew the Sinking Spring/Shillington area better than the twins who had lived there their entire lives. He saw a lot of houses and outside one he found a replica of the Nittany Lion Shrine on someone's front lawn. It was love at first sight. He took advantage of every opportunity to deliver to that house and scope out this lion.

One Sunday night, he came back from work and decided that was the night. He and two others were going to steal the garden lion. They dressed in all black and planned to strike and 3 a.m. (I still have the picture of them and if we were still friends I would post it because it really is pretty funny).

As mapped out as the plan sounded it was doomed from the beginning. They had the stealing of the garden lion down but they had no idea what they were going to do with a 3 foot long garden statue. I guess they were just going to stick it in someone's dorm room. They came back shortly after leaving without a lion. Apparently no one took into consideration how heavy the thing would be. I heard phrases like "It was too much", "Who the hell carried that thing there in the first place?", and "It was at least 350lbs."

After that the lion was never mentioned again. He fell out of love as quickly as he had fallen in. I never had the chance to see the lion so I can neither confirm nor deny these alligations of the size and weight but I still laugh whenever I see the real lion shrine on campus.

Polizia!

Here we go with the college stories. The only problem is that since I've been reflecting on my college memories, I realize that they aren't as funny retrospect. Just a series of "you had to be there" stories that make you want to stab yourself in the ear.

Sorry to all my home friends who have heard these stories over and over again.

Here's one anyway...

I met my roommates on a school trip to Venice my sophomore year (the twins...not the evil roommate. I knew him before that but that's another entry entirely). Anywho...apparently the week we spent in Venice was right after they passed a smoking ban and you could no longer smoke indoors. No big deal, the law had already been in place in Jersey for about a year so I was used to it.

What they neglected to tell us about the smoking rule was that it applied to public property as well. While we were waiting for the train to Verona a few of us were outside catching a smoke break. The police caught us. Someone neglected to mention that you cannot smoke on the front steps of the train station either.

The polizia ambushed us demanding out passports. Thank God the roommate was carrying mine because I knew I didn't have it. I almost crapped my pants at the thought of being hauled off to an Italian jail. I hear Americans don't do so well overseas.

Later on the trip I had an opportunity to pay the roommate back for his good deed but didn't take advantage. The day before we left I was cleaning out my bag and throwing things away I didn't need. I found receits from our flights and I didn't think they were that important. I threw his away immediately. I was going to throw mine away but got nervous and decided to keep it just in case...

...those were our boarding passes for the flight home. No wonder we hate each other.

Yes, Officer! This Is My Car!

I remember reading somewhere the the average driver locks the keys in the car twice during his/her lifetime. Well, I would like to announce that I have so far done this three times in the four years that I have been driving. I always knew I was more than average, but this is proof!

The first time I did it was my freshman year in college. Rome was going to school in Philly at the time and I drove down in my Buick Lesabre from Reading to see him for the weekend. One of the security guards on his campus was going to help, but started giving me a hard time because I didn't have proof of ownership. I told him it was in the car, but apparently lots of eighteen year old girls try to steal 1994 Buick Lesabres at that campus. He just kept nodding as if he had heard the story before.

The other two times were both this year, both during the school day, and both when I had taken Nyquil the night before. Coincidence? Perhaps. I'm not really sure. All I know is that I'm going to have to think of a clever way to make that $56 back. Damn Locksmith.

In all fairness though, it could be worse. When I was 4 months old my mother locked me in the car while it was running. I guess the apple didn't fall far from the tree.

We Did Ignite It, But We Tried To Fight It

The twins and I have become absolutely obsessed with "Dexter". If you haven't seen it, it's a show about a serial killer and it is sick, twisted, and brilliant! Anyway...we've become so infatuated with this show that we'll sit down and watch seasons of it for hours at a time. I really admire his organization and cleanliness. Something I lack.

So we're sitting watching Dexter and the Ice Truck Killer when Twin #2 says that she smells something burning and immediately accuses Twin #1 of leaving the oven on. She checks....oven's off.

Then Twin #1 wonders if the fourth roommate is burning upstairs. Since the fourth roommate has so many electronic devices plugged into a single outlet, it was a possibility. There have been sparks before and there could be sparks again.

Even at this point I still didn't smell anything and I was beginning to think that they were losing it.

Finally after 20 minutes, Twin #1 tells me to come sit next to her so that I can smell it. I move and I do. It smelled like plastic, but not as strong. It was the smell of cigarette filters burning. It was at that moment that I remembered my downfall...messiness. I opened the balcony door to find our ashtray that hasn't been emptied out in at least 2 months was on fire. We immediately dosed the sparks and got back to Dexter.

We could learn a thing or two from a serial killer...I bet serial killers empty out their ashtrays.

I Really Need to Keep Up With This Thing...

I've been away for a few days so most of you probably know this (mostly because I think most of you read Braja's blog), but her husband and driver were in a terrible accident.

Please keep them in your thoughts.

Pay it Forward...and I love Gifts!

I love presents so I promise to pass on the wonderful things!

here is the deal: you want a present from me? leave me a comment. the first three people to comment will receive a gift from me sometime this year. when? what? you wont know!! its a surprise!! Im going to do my best to comply with the rules of "something handmade," but I cant promise that. life is crazy, you know!

here is the catch: in order for you to leave a comment on this post, first you have to repost this on your blog. that means that you are committing to giving three presents to people. got it? so post this on your blog, then comment to let me know.

GOOD LUCK

Your Tour Ends Here

Dear Brett Michaels,

Are you kidding me? I heard on the radio today that your Rock of Love tour bus is coming to Montclair, NJ next month. Please don’t. New Jersey has a bad enough reputation as it is and we don’t need you confirming rumors that we’re trash.

Also, could you please stop with this “Rock of Love” thing? It’s old and I’m tired of you exploiting dumb aspiring porn stars. Instead of spending your time filming these women fighting over you, could you please drop by the nearest psychiatric ward and get them the help they need.

Really, Brett. Who do you think you are? Bon Jovi? You’re not. You never will be so let it go. When I hear advertisements for Bon Jovi on the radio, I hear at least 5 good songs played in the background. When I hear your radio advertisement I hear one. “Every rose has its thorn…” This includes you Brett. Your thorn poked me a long time ago and the wound is becoming infected.

You’ve been walking around for the past few years like you’re the cat’s meow. Well the cat is dying a slow painful death and letting the whole world know about it! Stop with the hair extensions and give the eye liner back to one of the crazy chicks on your love bus.

YOUR TOUR ENDS HERE!

Sincerely,
Someone with Class